Yesterday morning on the subway I ran into a new breed of New Yorker, the renegade punk rock preacher. Wearing a black and white "Trust Jesus" hoodie and sporting a duct-taped threadbare bible, he asked everyone on the subway to raise their hand if he or she was saved and then, to check out his website, primaryproofofthebible.com, which he had created over 5 years of intense labor in a Siberian prison camp (hey man, I'm giving you free advertising/street cred here).
He then pushed on with a fire and brimstone sermon that would have made even the most hardcore, right-wing leaning, bible-thumping, family-value espousing, Obama hating (hey that guy is getting on my nerves too), secretly sexually-deviant conservative shake in his boots. The general jist of his sermon was something like: If you don't throw your arms up and praise the lord, you're going to burn while Satan uses the flames coming off of you to roast marshmallows! Basic reward and punishment. So either God wants to treat you like a little kid, or, God is a capitalist after all, and is all about harnessing the power of self-interest. Unforunately, neither one of those ideas seemed especially appealing, judging from the dead stares he got from the other passengers. It's a good thing God is forgiving, or this salesman would've gotten a pink slip (and no taxpayer funded bailout) long before this recession even started.
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